What have I become?

Who am I?

 

Over the years I’ve picked up so many labels from the people and things around me. I’ve fulfilled some of them to the best that I can and fought some of them (to the best I can also). But now I am looking back I ask myself why? What for? And, who am I?

I am the brown girl, the fat girl, the confident woman. I am the skinny girl, the tall girl, the disabled girl, the tomboy. I am the girl with an attitude, the pretty girl, the ugly girl, the lazy one. I am, the daughter, the sister, the mum, the girlfriend, the wife and yet the divorced one. I am the beauty therapist, the insurance broker, the cab driver, the smart one but at the same time the dumb one. I am the crazy one, the cute one and yet I am the quiet one. Oh, my… It goes on! I’m constantly trying my best to fit or fight these labels and in doing so, I feel that have lost who I actually am!

Did I grow up or just simply grow into what I’ve been told I am?

What have I become? Who am I really? What do I want to be? And why, oh why, have I allowed all these labels to take relevance in my life? Are they a distraction or are they reality?

Maybe it’s because I’m going to turn 30 soon or maybe it’s because I am fed-up of being told I am something that I am not that something that doesn’t feel right, something isn’t making me happy and so I don’t feel that I am me!

It’s funny, I am trying to love myself and I made this mandatory in my life from 2019 But I have found that I struggle to do this deep within as I really don’t know who I am! How can I expect anyone else to love me if I don’t know how to love myself? That is something to think about!!

Only god knows how I am going to do this as I myself do not yet know. I know it is going to be a challenge and there is a lot of work to be done. It is time for a big change and that change is… It’s time to be me!

I am Reena! I accept the changes I need to make within myself! And ultimately I love myself!!!

Has anyone else gone through this? Did you manage to find you? If you have how did you manage to find you?

Share your journey and experience to help everyone else like me…

xx

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