Who am I?
Over the years I’ve picked up so many labels from the people and things around me. I’ve fulfilled some of them to the best that I can and fought some of them (to the best I can also). But now I am looking back I ask myself why? What for? And, who am I?
I am the brown girl, the fat girl, the confident woman. I am the skinny girl, the tall girl, the disabled girl, the tomboy. I am the girl with an attitude, the pretty girl, the ugly girl, the lazy one. I am, the daughter, the sister, the mum, the girlfriend, the wife and yet the divorced one. I am the beauty therapist, the insurance broker, the cab driver, the smart one but at the same time the dumb one. I am the crazy one, the cute one and yet I am the quiet one. Oh, my… It goes on! I’m constantly trying my best to fit or fight these labels and in doing so, I feel that have lost who I actually am!
Did I grow up or just simply grow into what I’ve been told I am?
What have I become? Who am I really? What do I want to be? And why, oh why, have I allowed all these labels to take relevance in my life? Are they a distraction or are they reality?
Maybe it’s because I’m going to turn 30 soon or maybe it’s because I am fed-up of being told I am something that I am not that something that doesn’t feel right, something isn’t making me happy and so I don’t feel that I am me!
It’s funny, I am trying to love myself and I made this mandatory in my life from 2019 But I have found that I struggle to do this deep within as I really don’t know who I am! How can I expect anyone else to love me if I don’t know how to love myself? That is something to think about!!
Only god knows how I am going to do this as I myself do not yet know. I know it is going to be a challenge and there is a lot of work to be done. It is time for a big change and that change is… It’s time to be me!
I am Reena! I accept the changes I need to make within myself! And ultimately I love myself!!!
Has anyone else gone through this? Did you manage to find you? If you have how did you manage to find you?