Love hate relationship with February.
They do say there is a fine line between love & hate!
For me it’s a time of celebrations, sadness, planning, contemplation and most of all LOVE!
February usually starts of on a positive note, because I’ve made it through January. With Christmas and new year out of the way, and all my resolutions broken, I take the opportunity to contemplate, what actually happened over the past year? What I would like to have happened? Can I make it happen this year? If so How? Also, am I where I want to be? And am I happy? These are all such difficult questions to ask myself and to answer without wearing my rainbow tinted glasses. I go through the process because once it’s done, I am on a path to setting my self up for the rest of the year. I ask myself these questions in every area of my life, financial, relationships, pleasure, learnings all areas. Its all about reflection, goal setting and progression! We do it for school, work, exams so why not life right?
The second week of Feb is a total emotional shit show. My dad’s birthday, the anniversary of my uncle who passed away, which was bitter but oddly enough about love and loyalty, valentines’ day and time to start putting all the things I come up with from the week before in to practice.
By the last 2 weeks of Feb it all comes together!
As this is the month of love it makes all the things I need to do easier as I’ll do it with my heart. I couldn’t forget, as there are reminders everywhere. Big hearts, roses, flowers, teddy bears.
This year has been tricky, I think it may be because January rolled in to February so fast that it feels like January is still lurking in the background! January 2019 has been like a stagnant fart lingering in the upolstery on my sofa and at every move there’s the stench of January again. I’m actually so over the new year vibe and totally waiting for summer right now but there is a process!
After 5 days of trying implement my usual Feb strategy I gave up. The powers of the universe are too strong for me “the bull” to battle! Seems it’s telling me that I can’t prep for the year ahead. If I go on holiday, great, if I don’t then I can do something here and make the most of the time that I have at home (maybe remerchandise the house). If I manage to save some money, woohoo, if I don’t, at least I had enough to get me through the year. If I get a job that I love wicked, if I don’t then I will learn from it anyway. I suppose I will learn something from this experience as a whole, maybe life is teaching me to adult, I am going to be 30 soon. Rahh, seeing that in writing just freaked me out! I can’t put adulting off any longer. Although, I will always be in touch with my innerchild! Thinking about it, that is progression just without goal setting. I’m free styling this year!
Reflecting on 2018, I managed to do many things, I saved a bit of money. I challenged myself and went to South Korea with my little cousin. I actually had such a good time I want to go back. This was a big step for me as I consider holidays as 14 days on a beach sipping cocktails chomping on mangos. I found the love of my life, my fur baby, Zadie Bear Shah, she is the most beautiful dog in the world with a kind heart. She has tested me in many ways, which I have overcome and has taught me so much about myself, I’ve done the same for her! The best bit about it is that we have grown together and love each other unconditionally! I’ve also made some really good friends this year too! I faced some tough times which I took in my stride and am continuing to work through some of those difficulties. I will get back to these in a moment. But all in all, I think that I have had a successful year and accomplished all my goals set in February 2018. Some went better than I thought would.
This year started with a bang (not in a good way) however, the month of love has come, and it is time for me to put those rainbow tinted glasses back on and use my heart to guide me through the rest of the year. The way that I am going to do this is by loving myself, caring for myself and keeping myself strong!
When I was young I always thought the meaning of a strong and powerful woman was to shut off to all emotion and to struggle through life pretending that everything was okay and to look after others. My journey through life has taught me different. This way of being did nothing for me and left me exhausted. It taught me to be true to myself and speak my truth. It taught me that to be strong, you need to have strength. Put yourself first becuase if you don’t no one else will. Love comes from within and radiates out to others!
These are some of the things I do to maintain strength, keep going, love my self and be strong:
1. A nice warm bath with bubbles and a LUSH bath bomb, Epsom salts, candles, smells blended together like T tree & Eucalyptus, Rose & Lavender or Lemon & Lime & Orange. Sometimes I Have the lights off and switch off. If I am struggling to switch off, I get lost in a book or listen to the music I feel like at the time. Obviously on full blast! It gets the senses going, the ones that we don’t often acknowledge or take for granted. Deep breaths and I’m fully relaxed.
2. Pamper Me Time!!! I put a face pack on, oil my hair, do my nails, give myself a pedicure. I prefer doing these things my self as it means that I do it exactly how I want, and I feel that I have actually given myself some time without anyone else interfering. Sometimes, I go somewhere else like a spa day and get a massage just to feel that extra bit special. Or a salon for a treatment of some sort.
3. I love doing things for people, feeding people and making people I care about feel special. If I didn’t do this my life would be ruined! Sometimes I make a lovely dinner or afternoon tea for my friend and family or help someone out with something. If my bank account permits, then get a special gift for someone. Just a random act of kindness really. No strings attached, just, seeing the people I care about happy makes me happy.
4. I am a little creative so when I am making things I get a release, it makes me happy and I have something at the end to keep for myself or give to someone else. This could be anything from food to cards, paintings, drawings, face masks, oils, candles and making cocktails.
5. Sometimes I book a class in something, to learn something new or for exercises, a hobby or new interest. The social aspect is great, it is also great at investing time in you for something you want to do. It is stimulating, active and keeps your mind on the subject at hand.
6. Meditate! Meditation has become so popular and it has been a long time coming. The world is moving fast, way too fast for our mind, body and soul to catch up with! Once you learn this you can take it everywhere and anywhere with you. It is a true survival skill that keeps you strong, stable, calm has helped me keep my sanity!
7. Cozy your surroundings switch on a good film and have some goodies by your side.
8. Have a day or at least a few hours to yourself. Switch off all contact with the world and just be you.
9. When you look at yourself in the mirror every morning smile at yourself and accept yourself just as you are.
10. Challenge yourself, do something that surprises you. Try something new.
11. Read a book. Don’t just read a book, get lost in a book!
12. Exercise. I struggle to get started, but once I do, I love it!
13. Treat yourself to something if your bank account permits. I love getting myself a new nail varnish or some jewelry. Nothing says I love me than jewelry!
14. If there is someone that wants to look after you, treat you or show how much they love you, relax and let them. Appreciate it and enjoy it!
15. Lastly, I love taking my Zadie Bear out for a stroll, having a snuggle, talking to her and playing with her. Just one look in her eyes and all my troubles disappear!